Happy 21st Birthday Tom~
Hey, its finally here, and I am gratified. I have discovered joy, meaning and love. I am growing and I am learning. (=
For my birthday, I chose to gave instead of receiving because I wanted everyone in my Life to feel loved and cared for. For Life, for myself, for Tong (really…), for my family, and for everyone who has graced my Life.
Hey there,
Well, I caught the bucket list today. It is a very meaningful show ain’t it. “Up on the Himalayas, when you look at the stars, they are like tiny holes in the sky, and heaven spilled through them.” This phrase reminded me of William Blake’s poem “…To see heaven in a wild flower, Infinity….” Hmm, i guess the parallel that I am trying to draw over here, is that, if I can learn to appreciate Life (without overly romanticising the notions), heaven (like, all good things in Life) is acutally everywhere. So close to us. The “promise”, so close to us, so clear to us.
(=, Let me give you a wonderful present. (Psss…It’s my birthday today. But this year, I would give, rather than recieve, for a meaningful change). I have actually given to people who are closest around me something meaningful in their lives. And you know what, in a profound way, this is your present from me. I am telling you, “Thank you for inspiring this change and growth in me. To pursue meaning with more clarity, faith and passion. And this act of mine is the result of your actions.” It works. Hope that this simple present from me proves true to you.
With loves, with joy, with sincerity,
Tomithy.
Ps. Wow.
Rendering Perspectives
Strange header for me to be starting this post with, but please dont blame me for putting down the first sophisticated term that pops into my head. It’s meaningful in two sense, firstly, I have finally gotten my hands on the Samsung G800 camera phone that allows me to now add 5.0M photos to spice up this blog (thus rendering a visual perspective) and that I have kind of an intellectual stimulating time talking to Shin Leong of Worker’s party, which made me re-evaluate some perspectives that I hold.
Okies, the camera phone first. It’s always a darling to talk about, at least for these few days. I feel that I am finally cresting the tidal wave of consumer technology. It definitely empowering to hold a device in your hands that could capture the beautiful moments of lives ( and even some random artsy snaps), and be connected to your network of friends at the same time. It’s titan gray finishes are slick and its slides open and close with smooth yet satisfying elastic “pop”. Needless to say, I fell in love. Here are some shots that I have taken with this sweet little toy. Amateurish, but look at the resolution and quality.
Tim Sum for dinner
The nightly reflection ( blah. An easy title)
Lethargically, I would have to add that 2 photos will have to do for now. I will figure out another way to add.
Shin Leong and Civil Society
Interestingly, I did not know what to expect when I first asked Aaron to show me the worker’s party. Were they people in all ties and suit? No. Were there a crowd? Well, by my definitions, no. I was ushered into a quiet, scarcely decorated room with a guy sitting alone at the end of a meeting table, put together by 6 separate tables. The initial impression was definitely a MISS, because the worker’s party HQ is located in a small unit of shophouse (heritage wise, its an early version of Singapore’s down, a fusion of houses upstairs and commerce below. Yet, its an earlier building, meaning that, in the every re-improving and upgrading Singapore cityscape, this is, undeniable – old.) with a small gathering of office workers. Politics, or rather grassroot participation over here, feels like an after office hour gathering. “Of course, of course, remarked Shin Leong, that in Singapore, everyone needs to have a livelihood, because a burning passion, or activism cannot sustain itself.” My words. Granted.
Fortunately, the night turned out to be a lucky stroll in me. Talking with Shin Leong, fueled by his occassional wittiness and insights, made be see Civil Society in a more Singaporean and pragmatically contrived context. He also gave me some leads for read-ups. And even more on his spirited activism. Good stuff, if I dont want to sound silly in USP application essay. I should be chiding myself over here. Why oh, why, I have to pick such a challenging topic that has left me wondering and perplexed for days.
What really amazed me, was the “hypothetical” political chit-chat that came up, during the coffee talks. Yes, what better, that to sip economically viable caffeine doused drinks, late in the night, at a relatively quiet coffee shop. Very interesting, albeit tasteless – truly though starbucks is probably extravagant, hence unsustainable . Astonishingly, this period produced the most interesting of talks. They let me understand little more about SDP’s Swee soon juan (probably got his name wrong) – his political connection and persona and more, and how malaysian’s recent election was a lesson to the political players. Amazing. I was totally absorbed into the parry of ideas, and the theater of guesses staged out “what ifs” and “could it be”. Suffice to say, it rendered me more perspectives and sparked off more thinking. And laughs. =D
Please do not be offended by my casual criticism or remarks. There are mere offhands thoughts, reflecting more of my brand of Lifestyle and sophistication rather that the culture of my subjects. As it is, I rather the realistic view, than the idealistic brainfood galore (where only IQ counts) or the cynical view that well, Life’s just suck. I make a judgment, and from that I know my taste. Aha.
Singapore Film Festival
I have identified a few films to watch in the festival. Who would like to join me?
- Beyond the Call
- Human Rights Shorts
- Korean Academy of Film Arts (KAFA) Short Films 2007
- Operation Filmmaker
- Steal this film Part 1 + 2 (this can be leagally torrented )
- Children of the Prophet
- If You Were Me: Anima Vision 2
- Paper Cannot Wrap Up the Embers
- If You Were Me: Anima Vision 2
No offense to anyone, but Bakushi (about Japanese Bondage) looks interesting enough. But its probably R21.
NUS Open House – despite myself
I had the intention of a family-outing when I decided to organize a with my siblings and cousins to NUS. Yet, as the day rolls out, I became to focused my real motivation – was to understand more about education offered at a tertiary level, so that I could plan mine accordingly. Realized that my behavior and my spoken intentions were not congruent. Ultimately, it was the actions that is truing revealing of myself. I have explored only what I really wanted Combio, USP, NUS Enterprise and spent a great deal of time there, despite the fact that this trip was originally conceived to aid my cousin and sister in finding a course to study. I felt the tinge of guilt later on, and yes, this is an honest reflection.
I know I totally enjoyed myself making inquiries about the exciting programs NUS has to offer. Its very intriguing to note of the possibilities, and wow, it even makes me being to wonder why am I considering an overseas university in the first place. Hmm…
The day was well-spent I suppose, jap lessons – NUS- dinner with Edna and Ben @ indulge. Fulfilling, but tiring. I was perhaps, a little sore of my own integrity (incongruence) disparity. Let me remind myself over here that I need to extend my help at the point of need.
Btw, I should be getting a Samsung G800 camera phone. (= superb stuff.
http://www.gsmarena.com/samsung_g800-review-197.php
Cycling
Wee. I am going to do some night cycling tomorrow night. Let’s see, besides the fact that i have not done it before, I DONT KNOW HOW TO CYCLE. Lol. Thanks a lot to HengJie for organizing this and lets hope that it doesnt rain.
Here’s the map I have manage to glean online. I suppose, its okay to cut and paste. 
My Meaningful 21st Birthday
This past 12 on friday night now, and I am slowly succumbing to the drawl of sleepiness. It has been a long week of work at Griddles and I found it bearable and gainful. What I originally thought was a gross misfit was nothing more than a lack of understanding.
Sweet! Mr Lun thought me something too, in a way interacting with him gave me a sense the importance of constructive information. Really.
Alrighty, what I have over here is a list of things that I intend to do for others for my 21st birthday. To give others something that is meaningful, is really the most well-intentioned and gratifying gift that I could possibly conceive for myself and others. Of course budget would be a consideration. I guess this would mark the evolution and the definition of my character. A self that I am proud of developing, a Life worth living.
As I sort things out, this list would probably grow.
My Aunt:
Grandma, Mom and Dad: To reveal to them that I know Teochew
Teachers: A personal Postcard
Miss Choong: A meeting with Prof Lun
Kefeng, Jun Yan, Zed: Ice – skating
Aaron: Arranged for him to attend Tong’s lecture on Media
Ber:
Kingston:
Tong:
Edna: To attend her Euphonium concert and give her some lovely chocolates
Ben: Watch something artsy together: Like the singapore Film Arts Festival.
Letter of Gratitude to Tong
Entitled : From Tomithy. Despite whatever my email nick is.
Hi there, I dont know if this mail reaches you or not, so i am cc-ing myself. I foresee that this mail would take some effort and thinking to write ( and probably to reply). Let’s start.
Today’s meeting wasn’t exactly the most opportune of time to speak my mind because i am at an awkward loss of words and ideas. Sleepy too. Boo. But let me have it over here in black and white. There are 3 things I wanted to talk about.
Firstly, I really mean to start today by thanking you, but i guess I somehow faltered and tripped over myself in the conversation. Thank you so very much for sharing the ideas and experience with me they are invaluable. Really (And you can add me to the list of another believer-cum-practioner of paying-it-forward) It’s amazing when some of the principles came alive to me when I am at a loss and a position of need – the understanding of voice (action and expression), values, perspective and knowledge. I think this understanding of Life, is starting to form my core, on how i reflect and critique myself, on how I grow and percieve Life (How should you responsibly view the 3rd world?)….there are just so many to mention and talk about.
I wished i had such an understanding when I was younger yet, and that could make a stronger, wholesome and less conflicted person. Recently, I am starting on a personal crusade to mature my character – empathy, understanding, reading up about more about the people who personify the human ideals like Nelson and Ghandi, less judgemental, and finding the intrinsic worth of each individual and myself. Thank you for pointing me the way, I will walk it. Thank you for being inspiring (and you know you are), but don’t worry, I will not burden you with the need for mentorship or anything like that, I am old enough, I am thankful for the way things are right now. Whenever I learn to truly appreciate more Life and myself and others, I will think of you. And let me extend my favor to you in reciprocation: If ever there is anything you thing that I can help you with, just tell me, I will try my best to fulfill it. No expiry. Haha.
Secondly, I wanted to talk about activism. Besides your response on the social-darwinism of different social causes and enterprises, what I truly wanted to know what your cause is, how is it meaningful and what drives you (Ps. You can answer this next time, when you grant me an interview with you about SOT). I am excited about how social enterprises run, environmentalism, education and these are my causes – not cats or octopuses. You have answered my question of what activist/Social-enterprise-work I can participate in by mentioning about Mendaki and CDAC. I will check them up first, but probably I will ask you for more.
Thirdly, lies the issues of idealism vs realism vs ?nihilism/cynicism. As I say, I am an idealist, and I am working towards a more accurate picture of principles and the grand “design” of reality. Was hoping you could provide some sort of enlightenment. But as you say “you need to know the correct questions to ask first” and I don’t really know them yet. I guess when I learn more, I will. Thanks. When I ask you what category I should be between the three you could probably say “yourself”, but back at you, “I dont really understand myself yet” and through this I am trying to have a little definition or perspective on myself.
My gratitude to you once again for reading this email. Knowing that it is read is enough to make my day, trust me. But a reply would be infinitely better.
Sign, Yours Truly, Tomithy
My First Day Waiting @ Griddles
Its a really unexpected happenstance. Tom’s in the F&B industry and he is Waiting. Doesn’t this scream for attention? Kinda, especially when i am bothering on impossible clumsiness, tunneled vision and probably a lousy service attitude. Aaron puts it “Every customer is king” – savvy service motto, but i dont buy into this. I will try to establish a “win-win” frame of mind “service-satisfaction”.
I made a few mistakes today. Let’s have a good laugh at me ( & I dont mind) :
- Spilled mounds of cinnamon powder of whipped because i took of the cap instead of flipping it open to reveal the sieve-size holes.
- Accidentally splashed water at myself when i washed the ladle. Probably happened to me many many times.
- I tried to wear the apron the standard manner, which includes putting the little over over my head when Zann stopped me and said, “Hey that’s for girls, you should just tie the waist portion.” Whammy. Fortunately, i don’t flush very well. (=
Reframing.
Okies. Here comes the important part of the entry.
The reason that I have decided on this waiting job is that I want to work on my character. I want to give myself time and space to grow, to discover myself and principles. And to change. Service in a laid back (probably making quite a loss) cafe seemed appropriate an experience of Life for the task. I am now deciding whether should i work for 50 or 70 days.
Indeed, the experience is quickly yet subtly empowering. Operational knowledge aside, I have learned a few things. Immediately interacting with Zann, was enlightening, having someone talk about financial and self is like obtaining more perspectives on Life – that of 16 year old, that of a not-so-well-to-do-but-caring-family, etc. I felt a vague approximation of her priorities and values.
I have also caught myself thinking pessimistically when the job wasn’t 100% to my “assumption”. And that is definitely not a trait that i want to have. Realism means to know reality for what it is. What is, is. If am to cower at such a mismatch. My god, i will be in a fix every time in my Life. The “right” way of things is perhaps, to adapt, and to learn more other great characters in Life of how they handle circumstances. I can do it. *swallows the awkward bitter lime of Dunman experience*
I surfed the net a little to understand the restaurant.
One link basically says that the food is savoury, and the other finds the the food no more redeeming than trash itself.
http://mybearbrick.blogspot.com/2007/10/exploring-tanjong-pagar-discovering.html
http://www.hungrygowhere.com/singapore/griddles/
Activism
I happen to chance across this website that is advertised on hotmail. It sends across an inspiring message on activism.
However, it does raises to me a few points for ponder.
1.What exactly is the crux of activism?
2.Is activism charity?
3. With so many causes in the world screaming for attention, and a tsunami of many more to come because of the rippling effects of social consciousness, education and the Internet (media penetration), ya, I guess this is a result to be cheered for. But I do wonder, would we be at a loss? Or would there be a survivability selection to it.
The Last Chapter
I don’t know exactly if I am the author of my Life, or merely a curious yet passive reader of this story. If I am the author, then it must have been a very crazy story with ideas flying of at tangent and made impossible to fathom with so many blobs of smudges. I don’t feel in control of myself many a times. It is just so true that the plot itself is alive and I can only “read on” to find out what is happening to me next.
I happen to chance upon this literally idea, which is not of much relevance to this entry. But nonetheless I just want to put it forth. “Does the character in the story exist independent of the words? Meaning, can the character grow? And can we, as readers connect with them?” It is amazing when you consider God as a textual character of the Bible.
Why the last chapter?
Its annoying when I keep failing myself. Not that I cannot stand failure, but I am making the same mistakes, breaking the same promises again and again. It hurts to know that my dreams are slipping away because I am becoming weaker. Hence, the last chapter is an ultimatum to myself (its the point where the reader decides if this is the last chapter he is going to read before he puts down the book forever, or if it still proofs worthwhile enough, then he will read on) in Life. It’s time now, such is last time, such is the time before that. I never seized.
So much passivity about myself, such negativity about Life. A condition I cannot endure. Told myself, I will heal up and be right – under the heavy sense of guilt, humorless evening, blindness of purpose and cold shower. “My wake up call”
Perhaps I believe in truth. Maybe. But I shall know in time the absolute to this questionable. Therefore I shall confess in my own confides, as if you all could not have guessed, that I watch pornography and I game obsessively. And I think this cannot be, because it is destructive. I feel so numbed (my punishment or reward? Haha)
Anyways, in view of clarity, pornography is again wrong to me because of the way it frames sex and females and so on. Unrealistic, degrading, sadomasochistic. Poof. And I want out.
So I tasked unto myself these:
- To bathe only in cold water as a refreshing reminder not to err until I have sufficient faith in myself.
- To have a bathe and move out whenever I have the urge to surf porn. Respect.
- To design the card game instead of gaming.
And so begins a new chapter of my Life (as the last was almost the end of my dreams)…
